RAW this week starts with King and Cole talking about later matches.
Batista comes out to the ring to huge pop. Santino comes out, with Beth in tow, to face him. Santino has a mic and stops on the stage. He calls Batista the manimal. He calls for the Honk-A-Meter. He only has 58 weeks left before he becomes the best IC Champion of all time. He then had the Brain Barometer. “Batista” chants. The brain has an average of 6 trillion brain cells. Santino has 10 trillion, Batista has all of 12 (not trillion, just 12) and he’s going to knock out ten. He then says he’s going to leave Batista worse than the US economy.
Batista quickly gains control in a couple corners then with a spinebuster. Batista bomb and Batista covers for three.
– Winner: Batista
Beth gets on the apron and talks smack to Batista. He smirks at her. But he sees her looking behind him and turns – right into a clothesline from hell by JBL. JBL leaves Batista prone in the ring.
Out back Grisham is with HBK. He asks about Cade. HBK said ten years ago when he trained Cade he knew he was good. He didn’t know he’d show the world at HBK’s expense. He then tells Y2J he has 6 days to be champion as HBK will be taking the title at NM.
Grisham asks if Batista will tag with HBK tonight. HBK says he has his hands full tonight. He asks about HBK and a Texas Rattlesnake? What about a man who calls himself the best there is, the best there was, the best there ever will be. He decides he went to far there. He then said he wants to find a partner that likes him.
Cryme Tyme comes out to the ring. JTG is wrestling. M & M come out for Miz to wrestle. They had done a Dirt Sheet on Cryme Tyme’s fathers and they showed the video. JTG is pissed.
Miz gains control in a corner. A beautiful flipping shoulder block to Miz followed by a drop kick for two. The fans boo Miz kicking out. Miz hangs JTG up on the top rope and beats him down in a corner. A huge clothesline in a corner to JTG. Miz stomps JTG down in the center of the ring. Side headlock on JTG. JTG gets a quick roll up for two. JTG takes Miz down for two. A beautiful lariat to Miz but then Morrison geta involved outside with a distraction and gives Miz the win.
– Winner: Miz
M & M yell smack at Cryme Tyme as they back up the ramp.
Jamie Noble is out back and runs into Jillian. He says he needs a favor. He doesn’t want her to sing. He says when she opens her mouth and those horrible noises come out he wants to swallow his skull. But he respects her and he needs a partner of the female anatomy. He calls her sweet cheeks.
She says that of Layla doesn’t want to be seen with him, why would someone ten times hotter?
Dolph Ziggler shows up and introduces himself to them.
Jamie comes out to the ring. Katie and Paul are in the ring. But then Regal’s music hits. He comes out and sits in a huge throne in center stage, and Layla leans against it. The match is about to start and Mickie’s music hits. She runs out to help Jamie in his match so he doesn’t have to go it alone. They hug and the match starts.
Paul gains control at first. Jamie gets a few hits in but then Paul slams him into the heel corner. Katie tags in and pins Jamie for two. Katie taunts Mickie. Jamie slams Katie into the face corner and tags Mickie in. Snap mare to Katie but Paul attacks Mickie from the apron. Katie covers for two, twice. Katie gets a double arm hold on Mickie in the center of the ring. Mickie won’t give up. She works up and out. Huge neck breaker to Katie. They both end up down in the ring until they both tag out. Jamie starts to take Paul apart. Jamie climbs and hits a flying dropkick for two, Katie breaks the pin. Mickie flies in from the top to toss Katie from the ring. Paul gains control. Jamie takes Paul down then locks on the arm bar. Paul taps out.
– Winners: Jamie Noble & Mickie James
Regal is watching closely from the stage. Mickie and Jamie celebrate in the ring.
Cody, Manu and Ted are lurking out back looking for someone. They find him and Cody says he’ll do the talking. It’s Kane. He says he knows that he’s not a tag team type of guy. But his father is Paul Bearer, so that makes him second generation like them (interesting spin to try to bring him into the fold for this match). Cody says if they act as a unit they should be okay for their match.
Ted says they didn’t ask for the match, but want to make sure they’re all on the same page.
Kane turns and smirks. He says he doesn’t take orders from anyone. He’s going to massacre Rey whether they’re on the same page or not. If they stay out of his way there won’t be a pile of second generation carcasses laying around the ring. He’s off to see his good friend Adamle.
Video of HBK in the ring last week. He turned to face Y2J and that gave Cade the chance to get the win.
Cade comes out to the stage with mic in hand. He says we just saw he was the man who beat his one time mentor HBK. Truth be told in the last three months he learned more from Y2J than he learned from HBK in ten years. Last week is proof that Y2J is a better teacher, better influence and a better man all around. “You suck” chants. Cade says he could care less who HBK’s partner is because either he’s going to lose to Cade as he did last week or to Y2J as he will at NM. After NM Y2J will still be champion.
Punk comes out to the ring for a match. Rey comes out to join him. Rey is wearing an over mask (more of a hood than a mask) that’s a skull. He takes it off and gives it to a kid. Video of Kane taking Rey down hard last week.
Kofi and Evan have joined Rey and Punk in the ring. Cody, Ted and Manu come out to the ring together. They stay outside the ring to wait for their fourth. Kane then comes out and enters the ring without even glancing at the three others. Kane stares at Rey and the three heels skirt the ring and enter on the other side.
Manu starts beating down Evan. Evan comes back with kicks, but a big forearm to his back slows down Evan. Rey helps take Manu out as he tags in. Rey sends Evan over the top and it all falls apart. Kofi and Punk fly out simultaneously, then Rey flies out and takes down Kane. Everyone gets involved and bodies are flying.
Cody tags in from Kane and takes Evan down. Manu tags in and hits a suplex on Evan. Punk tags in, slingshots off the top and clotheslines Manu. Manu takes out one of Punk’s legs with a chop block and tags in Cody. Cody keeps working on the left leg. Kane tags in and drops an elbow on Punk’s head. Kane stomps Punk. Kane keeps Punk in the heel corner and chokes him with a foot. Ted tags in and wrenches Punk’s leg in the ropes for the full five count. Ted then gets a good hold on Punk’s leg. Punk is bounced face first off the heel corner. Cody tags in and hits a suplex for two. Cody flips taking Punk’s leg with him to tweak it even more. Tad tags in and comes off the top to slam into Punk’s leg being held by Cody. Manu then tags in and stomps the back of Punk’s leg. “CM Punk” chants. Punk somehow manages to roll Manu up for two, Cody tags in and they exchange blows. Kane tags in and stomps Punk’s ankle whole Cody holds it. Punk comes back with kicks, but Punk can’t get away. An enziguri to Kane and he gets free. A cheap shot – kick to Rey’s head – makes it so Punk can’t get the tag. Cody tags in. “CM Punk” chants. Cody tries to drop an elbow and Punk moves. Kofi is able to tag in! Kofi hits a huge drop kick, bounces around with a couple other moves and then drops both legs on Cody. Kane manages to tag in but Rey slingshots from the top to double kick the back of Kane. Ted and Rey go out over the top together. Kofi flies at Kane in a corner but Kane hits a huge choke slam on Kofi for three.
– Winners: Cody, Ted, Manu & Kane
Kane and Rey talk smack back and forth while Kane backs up the ramp and Rey is in the ring.
Adamle is in the ring and waits too long before talking. He says earlier Kane made a request tonight. He said he’d grant it based on if he won tonight. He did, so Adamle is honoring it. If Kane wins at NM then Rey has to remove his mask in the ring (even though Ray has already done that once in his career).
Orton’s music and he slowly comes to the ring. Orton asks if Adamle has his cell phone on him.
Adamle asks what he means.
Orton says he always has to clear everything through Shane. Or is it scheduled between shining Shane’s shoes and picking up his dry cleaning? Orton says he doesn’t like that Shane over turned Punk being suspended and Adamle needs to re-suspend Punk. When Orton is back he’ll be running things like he used to. If Orton’s not on Adamle’s side he won’t be happy. He’d rather have Orton on his side than Shane.
JBL comes out and says he’s pissed about this week. He’s lost more money this past week, but luckily he has a lot more. His wife is one of the most powerful women in the world and will testify in front of congress. Next week JBL will beat Batista then face the title holder and beat him. JBL is living in the here and now, where is Orton living? Orton, the youngest World Title holder, the hottest commodity. JBL wants Adamle to make a stipulation that when JBL wins the title Orton never gets a shot at his title.
Batista’s music. Orton and Adamle bolt from the ring. JBL waits for Batista to come down, but Batista shows up behind him. JBL turns around and Batista takes him down. Batista grabs a mic and says he knows JBL’s had a bad week, but it’s going to get a lot worse.
Santino is out back on his cell phone. He’s obviously talking to a girl. He asked how she got his number. Then he runs into Beth who is around a corner. He then calls the person on the phone Frank. He gets off the phone quickly. Beth asks who he was talking to. He says a sick kids Frankie who he promised ot win the match for. He then says he’ll walk her to the ring. She doesn’t want him to as he cost her the match last week. He says it’s a good thing Beth doesn’t have a Moolah-A-Meter or Beth would be about 22 years behind. He then said he didn’t want to go to the ring and it must be a female problem.
Kelly and Candy are out back heading for the ring.
Kelly comes out in black pants and a black tiny tank with her sparkly fuschia bra hanging out the front. Candy comes out in a black pleather mini-top and black pants with most of the sides cut out. She takes off the pleather top to show a camo bikini top. Beth comes out in her normal black and silver jump suit. Jillian is with her in black pants and a hot pink bikini top. Video of Kelly winning over Beth last night due to Santino.
Candy and Beth start. Candy nails some kicks and a low dropkick to Beth’s knee. Kelly tags in and they hit a double dropkick on Beth. Kelly covers for two. Candy tags in and hits a bunch of back elbows to Beth’s face. Shoulder blocks to Candy in the heel corner. Jillian tags in and chokes Candy in the heel corner. A huge kick to Jillian’s face and Candy covers fo two. Jillian gets bounced face first off the corner. Candy goes for head scissors but Jillian reverses it and slams Candy down. Beth tags in and hits a couple back breakers on Candy. Beth covers for two. Jillian tags in and wrenches Candy back by her hair for a four count. “We want puppies” chants! Jillian goes for her handspring back slam to Candy in a corner, but Candy gets her knees up. Kelly manages to tag in. Kelly hits a huge spinning head scissors on Beth. Beth manages a cover but Candy breaks it up. Beth gets distracted by Candy and Jillian fighting outside and Kelly quickly rolls her up. Beth reverses it, gets Kelly up in a chicken win and slams her down face first, hard. Beth covers for three.
– Winners: Beth & Jillian
Beth and Jillian celebrate on the ramp while Candy tends to Kelly. (I have to say Candy looked better than the past couple weeks, but Kelly was actually better in the ring. I know everyone is watching for this and it’s not good.)
Deuce is in the ring. Khali’s music plays and he… nope, he doesn’t! Haas comes out in a bad wig and walking like he has a load in his pants. The Great Charli! He also has a big strap on fake chin. Sing is actually with him! Charli grabs a mic and speaks illegibly. Sing says – Behold his awsome power. Charli speaks some more, then Sing says – When prepared correctly curry is both nutritious and delicious.
Charli hits the chop and then the head butt. He is about to go for the Charli bomb, but a dropkick lands him. Deuce is about to drop a fist but Charli gets a foot up. “Charli” chants. Charli then beats Deuce down them climbs. A flying clothesline takes Deuce down for three.
– Winner: The Great Charli
He puts his wig back on and poses. Then suddenly the real Khali comes out with Sing. Sing makes the introductions and Khali is smiling. Charli holds out his hand to shake, but Khali chops him in the head before leaving.
King and Cole run through the plans for WWE TV for the week.
Video promo for WM. Lots of old clips. This Thursday on MyNetwork there will be a WM show.
They then go through the matches slated for No Mercy.
Y2J’s music and he comes out with Cade in tow. HBK comes out to the ring next. Y2J enters with a mic and Cade stays outside the ring. Huge heat from the crowd. He says when he came in today someone actually had the audacity to wish him luck this Sunday. That makes him mad as he doesn’t need luck, doesn’t want luck. He’s better than HBK. He has Cade pull out a ladder to show what he’s going to do to HBK. He says he’ll pound HBK’s head with the ladder. Cade bounces the ladder off the ring post and then the stairs. He’s then going to put HBK’s head between the ladder and slam it on him again and again. Then he’ll pick it up and cave in his rib cage like this – he slams the ladder’s top down over and over. He will win at NM. He doesn’t need luck. This is what he thinks of luck – he walks under the ladder.
HBK comes out to the stage and stops. Cade and Y2J want to know what’s going on. Finally, after a long pause DX’s music hits. HBK had gone back out to gorilla and came back in wearing DX garb with HHH in DX garb and his belt on his waist. Cade bows up in HHH’s face in the ring. The fans are going wild!
Y2J and HHH start. Y2J actually gains a bit of control before a huge HHH shoulder block. Y2J tries for the walls but HHH flips out with leg strength. Cade tags in. And tries for a suplex, but HHH reverses and hits his own suplex. HBK tags in with chops to Cade. A flying forearm to Cade. Inverted atomic drop to Cade, but then Cade gains control. Cade drags HBK to the heel corner. Y2J tags in and hits a back suplex. Shoulder blocks into HBK’s gut in a corner. Cade tags in and hits a back elbow to HBK in a corner. Y2J tags back in and locks a neck hold on HBK. HBK is whipped followed by a bulldog. HBK is able to take Y2J down. Both are on the mat. Both Cade and HHH tag in. High kne to Cade. HHH hits a cheap shot knocking Y2J from the apron. A huge clothesline drops Cade. HHH then hits a spinebuster. HHH tries for a pedigree but Y2J enters and hits a code breaker on HHH. Cade and Y2J then beat up on HBK. They won’t stop double teaming him so the ref calls for the bell.
– Winners: DX via DQ
Y2J goes outside and brings a ladder in while Cade holds HBK. HHH enters the ring behind Cade and HBK with his sledge. Y2J leaves the ring and runs off. Cade lets go of HBK to see what’s going on. Cade gets the sledge to his gut. Then HBK hits sweet chin music on Cade. HHH follows up with a pedigree. HBK drags Cade into position in the ring and sets up the ladder. HBK climbs the ladder and points to Y2J on the stage. Y2J looks fearful, in shock. HBK hits a DX crotch chop then splashes Cade from almost the top of the ladder. HBK can’t get to his feet after the splash as it hurt him a bit too, but he props himself on the lower rope and smirks up at Y2J.
The Great Charli